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  • Vibhuti Bhinde

Fluidity of our experience


I wear one perfume everyday, the smell of which I don’t like. Whenever, I wear it, I shout at it :- “Why do you smell like this… Don’t you understand?... I am not liking the smell.. Why can’t you smell something else?.... How many times I have told you… you are like this only…will never change….I should not have selected you….” and on and on and on. (So stupid of me, right. How can I blame the perfume for its smell).

One day it occurred to me, as if the perfume was trying to tell me “Why don’t you stop using me then. Go and buy some other perfume instead”.

I went to the store. The representative at the store got the best from his collection.. I tried.. did not like it… I tried the next one….did not like that one either.. finally after a few more tries, I picked up the one which I liked.

When I wear that perfume now, I am happy, I don’t complain.

It’s the same with our experience. If we are experiencing something we don’t like, we always complain. Eg. If I am experiencing John as an angry person, I will blame him.. “Why are you always angry.. Don’t you understand?... I am not liking this.. you are like this only… will never change” and on and on and on.

I experience John as angry because I am thinking that. If I think something else, my experience will change.

So stupid of me, once again, right.. With perfume, it was ok. But with John, its not. I am thinking this because John IS an angry person. My thinking is justified. I am not wrong when I blame him.

No, John is not an angry person. No one is. By nature, we are all loving beings. We do get angry thinking at times because of which we feel that anger and we behave that way. That doesn’t make any of us an angry person.

So, if I want to change my experience, I will have to stop wearing that perfume, I will have to stop thinking that thought. I will have to stop giving energy to that thought. And when I do that, a new thought comes in. I don’t have to make efforts to even change my thinking. When I let a thought go, a new thought will take its place. That’s how our mind works.

If I don’t like that thought, I can let it go….. the next new thought…I don’t like it… I can let it go as well… next thought…. I like this one.. I want to experience this..I will keep it, experience it and let that thought flow and wait for the next new thought and hence a new experience of life.

That’s how fluid our experience is and we have a choice of what we want to experience. But, we make our experiences so fixed by thinking the same thoughts continually and blaming other people and circumstances for it.

We do this cause we don’t know how our minds work.

Its easier than we think….